Haters gonna hate because:
- They place value with always being better than someone else. So when you plant a seed in the flower bed of interest, they think that is your way of telling them that you are better than them
- It’s much easier to say that something is stupid than to be burdened with trying something on their own
- They can create status for themselves without doing anything on their own.
- They don’t like who they are. To admire someone without being jealous, you first need to respect and be proud of yourself
- They are in a dead-end job and they don’t like that you’ve found an outlet that makes you happy
- It is the illusion of power. Like the friend who gives you shit for not drinking tonight, he hates it because he does not have power over you
Come on dude, just one shot!
That “no” means that he didn’t get what he wanted. Haters don’t like that. I used to have friends who would hate it when I drank a pint of water every third drink at a bar. “You wuss,” they’d say. In essence they were saying,
- How dare you not be as hungover as me tomorrow?
- How dare you not hate the world as much as me?
- How dare you try to be productive?
- How dare you try to make a difference?
- How dare you do the things you say you want to do?
- How dare you not succumb to the inevitability of hating your life?
Eff that. I now surround myself with people who see me drinking water and say, “Smart.”
Haters are the evil twins of true victims. They look the same but one group came to the party with cloaks and daggers. Haters always have an excuse for why they can’t.
Haters will do anything to convince themselves that the only reason someone else’s situation is better than theirs is due to the formidable argument of:
Haters gonna hate. It’s just a shame that their negativity carries so much weight. It’s a shame that their shortcomings are the things that grab at our feet and stall our climb on our own ladder to higher, happier things.
But we can’t have life without viruses
we can’t have sunlight without shadows,
and we can’t have success without haters.
So if you do have haters, know that it’s because you’re alive and because your sun is shining. Be proud that you are giving so many people something to talk about.
But I know, ignoring haters is not easy to deal with, because we care what people think (Next blog post).
Here are a few things you can do to keep the haters at bay:
- Truly understand why you’re doing whatever it is your stepping out on a limb for
- Know that negative feedback has four times the impact of positive feedback. If you do catch a dose of “hater to the face”, be sure to combat it with four doses of positive feedback, even if they are old comments or old emails
- Surround yourself with people who support you. If you spend your energy trying to “fit in” and be accepted by the people that are supposed to support you, you’ll have no energy to withstand the doubters. Using the bar analogy above, you need: More “Smart”, Less “Wussy” from the people you surround yourself with
- Lastly, rest assured that
Haters gonna hate, but the world will love you if you try.